Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
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Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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