Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
