idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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