what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
