Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize