There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
A+ Viking dick
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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