so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
