Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Randomize
