The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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