giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
