my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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