She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"