Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I should injure you considerably.

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(905): View more from Toronto

Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?

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(206): View more from Washington

He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...

(1-206): View more from Washington

He obviously understands you completely.

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(248): View more from Michigan

the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes

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(225): View more from Louisiana

all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.

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(256): View more from Alabama

My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?

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