the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"