chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.