she looked like the before picture.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
