Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
