haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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