You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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