You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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