She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
