really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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