I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
