I like my sex mixed with concussions.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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