It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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