u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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