I could have mohawked her pubes.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
