Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize