drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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