Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
