I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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