i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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