just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
