dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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