Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
