just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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