Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
