He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
