I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't deserve a penis
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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