I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Green mimosas i think yes
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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