Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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