So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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