In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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