me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
