She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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