OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
