literally had 100 drinks last night.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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