A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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