Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
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