Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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