When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
