would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
