I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
