Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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