My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
