It's Friday. Sex?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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