if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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