I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The power of my boobs compel you
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
