My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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