I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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