Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
