i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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