Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
